By Brad Shamis, Ph.D
Licensed Psychologist
Licensed Psychologist
No matter what you do for a living, your intelligence quotient (IQ) counts for at most 25% of your effectiveness.
Your emotional intelligence —how well you deal with people, manage relationships and understand yourself—counts for much of the rest.
To reach the highest level of competence at work, you must develop a fine sense of how other people feel—and what they need.
Emotions At Work
According to Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. emotional intelligence was twice as important for star performance as IQ and technical expertise combined.
The higher up the ladder the more critical emotional intelligence became—accounting for close to 90% of success in top leadership positions. He found that people with high levels of emotional intelligence had the skills necessary to inspire, lead and persuade others to follow them.
Sizing Up Your Emotions
Neither emotional nor intellectual intelligence guarantees success. They are merely the raw materials needed to learn and develop the competence vital for top performance at work.
Example: if you’re in sales, empathy tuning into how others feel—must be translated into a set of concrete skills, such as listening to clients…seeing situations from their perspectives…and providing them with what they need.
Your emotional intelligence depends on how well you master five competencies, which provide the foundation for the skill any job is likely to demand.
* Self-Awareness is knowing how you feel and accurately assessing your abilities. It powers your self-confidence—a sense of security in your strengths.
Having a strong sense of self of awareness is key to good decision-making. When mulling over whether to take a job, make a deal or hire or fire an employee, everything that your experiences have taught you in similar situations combines to create a “gut feeling”—of your intuition.
But, you must be self-aware to recognize that your collective wisdom exists and that it is important to tap into it.
* Self-Regulation is the ability to handle and manage your emotions. Staying calm and thinking clearly under stress is vital to do any job effectively.
Emotional self-control is especially important today, so that you can be flexible and accommodate shifting circumstances.
Because this faculty enables you to delay gratification and act responsibly, it is the basis for integrity and conscientiousness. When you can self-regulate your behavior, more people will trust you to do what is right, despite temptation.
* Motivation enlists your emotions to help guide you toward your goals. It powers the drive to excellence and moves you to improve your performance, set challenging goals and take intelligent risks. People with high motivation levels become committed to the mission of their organization. They develop the optimism to persist in the face of setbacks and obstacles.
* Empathy is your awareness of the feelings and concerns of others. It forms the basis for a “How-can-I-help-you?” orientation that empowers you to anticipate and meet the needs of customers and colleagues.
By sensing what employees need to reach their potential, you can mold them into a strong effective team. People with empathy have political savvy. They can read the emotional currents at the office, develop powerful relationships in their organization and intelligently navigate through turmoil.
* Social Skills allow you to handle relationships adeptly and induce a desirable response in others. They are the keys to influence and persuasion. You can have the most brilliant ideas in the world, but if you lack these emotional skills, no one will listen to you. Social skills serve as the foundation for leadership—the ability to inspire and guide others—and for effective communication.
Boosting Your Emotional Intelligence
Some people have more advanced emotional intelligence. But, unlike intellectual intelligence, which takes years to enhance, emotional skills can be improved with time. Steps to take…
* Know your strengths and weaknesses. In what areas do you need to improve? Listening? Persuasion? Self-awareness? Temper control?
Before you even try to change, ask yourself honestly, “Does this skill really matter to me? Am I willing to put in the time and effort?”
* Define specifically the emotional areas you want to improve. Think of a real situation in which new habits would be a big help.
Example : “I need to be more empathic” is too general. Much better : “I’m a good listener, except with my subordinates.” That is where I need to improve.
* Become aware of your behavior in critical situations. What do you think when a subordinate asks you a question? How do you fell? A little irritated? Impatient? Exactly how do you react? Do you interrupt the person? Do you let your attention wander?
* Look for emotional role models. If you know someone who is a wonderful listener, watch him/her closely. If not, try to visualize, in specific detail, just how such an expert would act. Pattern your own behavior after them, using real on-the-job situations as a learning lab.
* Seek feedback from trusted friends and coworkers. Ask them to watch how you work and give you objective assessments.
* Track your changes and treat lapses as learning opportunities. If you slip and revert to a pattern you’re trying to change, don’t give yourself despairing messages. Instead of telling yourself, “I’ll never be any different,” ask, “What can I learn from this?”
Consider the circumstances that actually led to the lapse. Was it stress? A deadline? Fatigue? Make it a point to observe yourself more carefully in these situations.
* Keep practicing until the new behavior pattern has become a real habit—an automatic response that you don’t have to think about. Be patient and realistic. Meaningful change almost always takes a matter of months—not weeks.
Your emotional intelligence —how well you deal with people, manage relationships and understand yourself—counts for much of the rest.
To reach the highest level of competence at work, you must develop a fine sense of how other people feel—and what they need.
Emotions At Work
According to Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. emotional intelligence was twice as important for star performance as IQ and technical expertise combined.
The higher up the ladder the more critical emotional intelligence became—accounting for close to 90% of success in top leadership positions. He found that people with high levels of emotional intelligence had the skills necessary to inspire, lead and persuade others to follow them.
Sizing Up Your Emotions
Neither emotional nor intellectual intelligence guarantees success. They are merely the raw materials needed to learn and develop the competence vital for top performance at work.
Example: if you’re in sales, empathy tuning into how others feel—must be translated into a set of concrete skills, such as listening to clients…seeing situations from their perspectives…and providing them with what they need.
Your emotional intelligence depends on how well you master five competencies, which provide the foundation for the skill any job is likely to demand.
* Self-Awareness is knowing how you feel and accurately assessing your abilities. It powers your self-confidence—a sense of security in your strengths.
Having a strong sense of self of awareness is key to good decision-making. When mulling over whether to take a job, make a deal or hire or fire an employee, everything that your experiences have taught you in similar situations combines to create a “gut feeling”—of your intuition.
But, you must be self-aware to recognize that your collective wisdom exists and that it is important to tap into it.
* Self-Regulation is the ability to handle and manage your emotions. Staying calm and thinking clearly under stress is vital to do any job effectively.
Emotional self-control is especially important today, so that you can be flexible and accommodate shifting circumstances.
Because this faculty enables you to delay gratification and act responsibly, it is the basis for integrity and conscientiousness. When you can self-regulate your behavior, more people will trust you to do what is right, despite temptation.
* Motivation enlists your emotions to help guide you toward your goals. It powers the drive to excellence and moves you to improve your performance, set challenging goals and take intelligent risks. People with high motivation levels become committed to the mission of their organization. They develop the optimism to persist in the face of setbacks and obstacles.
* Empathy is your awareness of the feelings and concerns of others. It forms the basis for a “How-can-I-help-you?” orientation that empowers you to anticipate and meet the needs of customers and colleagues.
By sensing what employees need to reach their potential, you can mold them into a strong effective team. People with empathy have political savvy. They can read the emotional currents at the office, develop powerful relationships in their organization and intelligently navigate through turmoil.
* Social Skills allow you to handle relationships adeptly and induce a desirable response in others. They are the keys to influence and persuasion. You can have the most brilliant ideas in the world, but if you lack these emotional skills, no one will listen to you. Social skills serve as the foundation for leadership—the ability to inspire and guide others—and for effective communication.
Boosting Your Emotional Intelligence
Some people have more advanced emotional intelligence. But, unlike intellectual intelligence, which takes years to enhance, emotional skills can be improved with time. Steps to take…
* Know your strengths and weaknesses. In what areas do you need to improve? Listening? Persuasion? Self-awareness? Temper control?
Before you even try to change, ask yourself honestly, “Does this skill really matter to me? Am I willing to put in the time and effort?”
* Define specifically the emotional areas you want to improve. Think of a real situation in which new habits would be a big help.
Example : “I need to be more empathic” is too general. Much better : “I’m a good listener, except with my subordinates.” That is where I need to improve.
* Become aware of your behavior in critical situations. What do you think when a subordinate asks you a question? How do you fell? A little irritated? Impatient? Exactly how do you react? Do you interrupt the person? Do you let your attention wander?
* Look for emotional role models. If you know someone who is a wonderful listener, watch him/her closely. If not, try to visualize, in specific detail, just how such an expert would act. Pattern your own behavior after them, using real on-the-job situations as a learning lab.
* Seek feedback from trusted friends and coworkers. Ask them to watch how you work and give you objective assessments.
* Track your changes and treat lapses as learning opportunities. If you slip and revert to a pattern you’re trying to change, don’t give yourself despairing messages. Instead of telling yourself, “I’ll never be any different,” ask, “What can I learn from this?”
Consider the circumstances that actually led to the lapse. Was it stress? A deadline? Fatigue? Make it a point to observe yourself more carefully in these situations.
* Keep practicing until the new behavior pattern has become a real habit—an automatic response that you don’t have to think about. Be patient and realistic. Meaningful change almost always takes a matter of months—not weeks.
